From the day you are born to when you finally shed this mortal coil, if you need to rely on motorised transport the taxman is after you.
Should your father take your mother to the maternity unit in the car the NHS will charge an exorbitant amount for him to park it. Please try to avoid going into extended labour because the car will then be clamped and your dad will have to pay HMG to get it back to take you home. Alternatively, you could go by ambulance but then some hospitals are even reported as wheel-clamping their own ambulances.
As you grow up the government requires your parent to fit child safety seats, and a a later age, booster seats. HMG is so concerned about your safety that it helpfully adds VAT to the cost of these.
When you reach the age of 17 you may even wish to learn to drive. You will be taxed for a driving licence and have to pay the government for a copy of the Highway Code and then have VAT added to your tuition fees, after which you can pay HMG some more money for a driving test to get a full licence.
Then you buy a car. The government will assist your becoming independent with VAT and new car registration fees. Should you wish to have a personalised number plate the DVLA will be delighted to receive your cheque even though it costs them nothing extra to do this. When you insure it HMG will take insurance premium tax ­ oh and some more VAT please. Then you will need some fuel to the cost of which HMG will add VAT, fuel duty and then VAT on the duty itself.
You may then take your car home. When you get there you could find your local government wants to tax you for parking it outside your own house. You may wish to avoid this by parking in the drive if you have one but this amenity will make you liable for more council tax. If you don't already have a drive you may wish to create a parking area on your own land. Some town halls will spitefully charge you hundreds of pounds in "administration fees" for lowering the kerb, may also require a planning application for which you will pay for the privilege and will then increase your council tax anyway.
Your future driving career will then be subject to a myriad taxes. You are already paying the fuel taxes noted, but you will be taxed should you exceed an arbitrary speed limit by a few mph, you will be taxed to park wherever you go and if you overstay your welcome or if you park somewhere that displeases a petty official. Even if you park on private land HMG will grab some tax by selling your registration details to any Tom, Dick, or Harry.
You will be taxed for using bridges and tunnels that have long-since been paid for and even for using the roads in London and perhaps a few other places. You will be charged an annual possession tax (aka VED) which you will have to pay just to own the vehicle and which is based on its notional CO₂ output per km regardless of how many miles you drive. You could even be taxed for driving to work and using a workplace parking spot.
As your car perhaps gets a little older you will need an MOT test for which HMG will relieve you of a few more notes, plus VAT, and should any repairs be needed the government will add VAT to the bill for parts and labour.
As you climb the greasy pole you may think you could escape this when you get a company car but you will have to pay tax on this instead and also on any fuel allowance.
Then you finally kick it. Your funeral director's fees will have taken account of the VED and fuel taxes for the hearse if it has four wheels instead of four legs but it could still be clamped while they are fetching your coffin and your estate will have to pay release charges before you can be laid to rest.
Explore our site to find out more, and what you can do to help us stop the unfair taxation of drivers.